dee’s nuts cleavage cam

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    Cam Product

    $25.00

    Get an inside look at Dee's Nuts
    patented cleavage filering process!

    Add Cleavage Cam to your cart and Dee's Nuts girls will send a video of the nuts that you choose being filtered and packaged, along with a custom message to the friend of your choice! Just type your message here or at checkout.
    (No profantity or adult content please)

     

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The Dee’s Saga


Former basketball standout Dee Williams was snacking on peanuts from his father’s farm when an errant nut fell into the cleavage of his girlfriend. When he ate the nut, he discovered the journey had made it mysteriously tastier.

Amazed by the sudden transformation, Dee had a vision. Dee’s Nuts was born and now we are bringing that full frontal flavor to you. If you haven’t tasted the difference yet, it’s time to find out what you’ve been missing.

Find out which one of your friends deserves a fat sack of Dee’s Nuts!

Free Dee’s Nuts! 10/01

Want to get you hands on Dee’s Nuts for free? Send us your cleavage filtering photos or videos and we will send you a free tee shirt and a sack of Dee’s Nuts! Please keep all submissions G-rated, fun and TASTEFUL. Send submissions along with address and tee shirt size to
fun@deesnutsacks.com.


A New Idea in Snack Food – Thrillist, 8/01

Everything’s better when it’s sexed up. No one gets excited about a carwash until a soapy bimbo is buffing their rims. The Supreme Court was a total snooze until Ruth Bader Ginsburg brought her special brand of seduction to the bench. Now, finally, someone has made snack foods sexy. Dee’s Nuts, out of South Carolina, cycles every nut they sell between the breasts of a beautiful woman.

Dee’s Nuts ships all of our nuts out of Charleston, SC and approximate shipping time is typically 1-3 business days anywhere in the Continental U.S.

For 800,000 years, men have enjoyed nuts, but it took Dee’s Nuts’ singular vision to master the delicate sex/nut synergy. According to the founders, the saga began when an errant nut flew between the ample cans of a female friend. Someone ate the nut, and discovered the hallowed journey had mysteriously made it tastier. Now Dee’s Nuts employs three vixens to “cleavage filter” their nuts before sacking them up and sending them to customers.

We had our suspicions too, but an overnight delivery convinced us that Dee’s are no novelty nuts. Dee’s peanuts are particularly delicious: salt-encrusted and a little smoky, which we attribute to the filterers’ 3-pack-a-day Virginia Slims habit. We recommend always having Dee’s Nuts on hand for guests to munch on.

These days, protein is very fashionable, and with sex coming back into vogue, Dee’s Nuts is bound to be a smashing success. Still, we can’t be absolutely certain who’s really filtering Dee’s Nuts. They do taste like Southern D-cups, but it could easily be beefy rednecks in overalls, or, worse yet, nobody. But until Doritos starts shipping Cool Ranch wrapped in thongs, for sexy snacks, Dee’s are your best bet.
-David Blend


Boobs and Nuts – BS Observer 5/18

Every once in a while someone comes along and figures something out that utterly transforms their entire industry. I’m thinking about the iPod, the Prius, and the much touted Wingdipper. But I have never ever seen someone come along and parody the act of transforming an industry in a way that makes his product utterly irresistible.

Are you with me so far? Can you really joke about break-through innovation AND move product at a blistering pace? Oh yes, you can.

Dee Williams, the creator of the Dees Nuts brand is just such a person. Dee developed a nut processing system that very well may change the business forever. Unlike other nuts that are largely unfiltered, Dees Nuts are cleavage filtered. Filtering the nuts through a woman’s ta-ta’s apparently removes the impurities and enhances the taste of almonds, pecans, peanuts and many other kinds of nuts. From their site:

“The saga began when an errant nut fell between the ample cleavage of a female friend. He ate the nut and discovered the hallowed journey had somehow made it tastier. Now Dee’s cycles every nut between the breasts of a beautiful woman.”

Apparently Dee has patented the DOUBLE DEE 600 mobile filtering unit to protect his brand from imitators. The products have received mixed reviews from the snack food industry, but the people seem to love ‘em.

“I find your product absolutely abhorrent. Have women become nothing more than a pair of breasts to caress a cashew?”
-Greg Finley

“I’m in a weird fluctuating state of outrage and amused disbelief.”
-Marrian

Make Your Own Dee’s Nuts

ROSEMARY CHIPOLTE ROASTED NUTS

• Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

• Pour 6 cups of pecans, almonds and cashews between the breasts of a beautiful woman.

• Brush a sheet pan generously with vegetable oil. Combine the cashews, pecans, almonds, 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil, the maple syrup, brown sugar, orange juice, and chipotle powder on the sheet pan. Toss to coat the nuts evenly. Add 2 tablespoons of the rosemary and 2 teaspoons of salt and toss again.

• Spread the nuts in one layer. Roast the nuts for 25 minutes, stirring twice with a large metal spatula, until the nuts are glazed and golden brown. Remove from the oven and sprinkle with 2 more teaspoons of salt and the remaining 2 tablespoons of rosemary.

• Toss well and set aside at room temperature, stirring occasionally to prevent sticking as they cool. Taste for seasoning. Serve warm or cool completely and store in airtight containers at room temperature.

Coming At You!

Guard your grill because Dee’s Nuts are coming at you fast.

We will ship your order via UPS the same day that you place it. We ensure that our customers receive their shipment as quickly as possible with no added shipping costs.

Dee’s Nuts ships all of our nuts out of Charleston, SC and approximate shipping time is typically 1-3 business days anywhere in the Continental U.S.

Next Day and Second Day shipping is available if necessary. However, you will need to speak with a customer care representative to discuss pricing depending on the weight of the package and the zip code it will be delivered to.

The Dee’s Guarantee

Full frontal freshness and flavor is guaranteed or your money back. Dee’s Nuts stands behinds the quality of our products and service. If you are not satisfied with your purchases, simply contact us within 15 days from the date of your purchase and we will resolve your concern. If in case we aren’t able to provide you with an acceptable resolution, we will refund the price of the product in question.